Nightmares – Day 14

Last night I had a dream that I had been out with friends drinking red wine. At the end of the night, I suddenly realised that I shouldn’t be drinking because I’ve stopped drinking.

I was so disappointed with myself. Later, the dream changed and I was trying to find somewhere to smoke a cigarette! (I gave up 14 years ago). I was so pleased to wake up and realise it was all a dream, phew!

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Bloody Adverts – Day 12

Another day done. I have ignored my cravings quite well today. There have been several fantasies of wine drinking, which I have had to dismiss immediately. I definitely don’t trust myself yet to let my mind linger on them sort of thoughts for too long.

Who knew there was so much coverage of alcohol in our everyday lives, TV ads, TV programs. Ads on Facebook and other social media – It’s everywhere! Beautiful people, socialising and having a drink, looking very happy. I don’t know if that pisses me off or just makes me sad.

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Lost – Day 11

The holidays are over and its back to the usual routine. This has made my Day 11 rather difficult. While I have enjoyed being kept busy with work, I now find myself in a lull, somewhere between 4.30pm and the kids bed times. In this time, I do homework with the kids, cook their dinner and generally just be around for them.

The kids seem to demand just enough of my attention that I cannot really do anything without being interrupted but they don’t constantly need my attention, so I find myself aimlessly wandering around the house, doing dishes and checking the dinner.

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Cravings – Day 6

Well I knew it was too good to be true. When I stopped drinking 5 days ago, I was very focused on not drinking. I was definitely in the right mindset to stop. However, today I feel my resolve definitely wavering for the first time.

We’re going on holiday in less than two months and I caught myself fantasising about having a glass of wine in the sun. I had to remind myself that I don’t drink anymore. And there it was, that twist in my stomach, that gut wrenching “what never again?” panic.

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