sober support for everyone
There is always this lull between Christmas and New Year that I have never enjoyed. Where the excitement of Christmas has passed but the preparations for New Year’s Eve are yet to begin.
Christmas Day was great. Everyone came to mine and I cooked for 12 of us. It made being sober easier than expected because I was so busy. I was very protective of my sobriety this year because it was on Christmas Day night last year when I ended 6 weeks of sobriety with a bottle of red wine.
Oh my God, I did it. I actually went to my first AA meeting yesterday. It was the same one I tried to go to last Friday but bailed. I was really nervous, but got there early and popped my head in and said “is there a meeting here at 12.30?”.
This Bloggersphere is amazing. On Friday, I felt very emotional and low. I had no one to talk to, so I wrote my post hoping that writing about my day would help me feel better. What I didn’t expect was all your comments of kindness and support. Sharing your own experiences with me, made me feel less alone and much stronger. Even though we all come from different parts of the world, I feel like I can truly relate to each one of you and I want to say a big Thank You – You all need to come live in England (UK).
I tried to go to my first AA meeting today. I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage for 8 months now. I found a meeting near me which was a woman’s meeting.
The hard part was telling my husband. I felt I couldn’t go without telling him first, as it would feel dishonest. He was great. He did ask if I thought I needed it (I still don’t think he truly grasps how bad I was) I said I wasn’t sure but it was something I’ve been wanting to try for a little while.
Can you EAT alcoholically? The reason I’m asking is because I’m wondering if I could be at risk of doing so or maybe already am. Over the past few months I have been exercising more and really enjoying it. However, l was disappointed that I hadn’t lost any weight. So, what have I done to help shift the pounds? Eat like a crazy lady, that’s what! Some days I feel motivated and neigh on starve myself. Other days, I sacrifice my dinner, so I can gorge on cheesecake and then hide the evidence. Then, like yesterday I felt so crappy I ate for England and then had a take-away! Which, not surprisingly made me feel crappier. What the heck has happened?
I’m feeling pretty good at the moment. My week or so of fantasising about drinking has left me. I’m not sure why they’ve gone but I’m going to write down some thoughts.
Firstly, I blogged. This always helps and I should make a sustained effort to do it quicker when I’m feeling down.
Continue reading “Things That Help Me Feel Better – Day 224”
Well I’m rubbish at posting at the moment. I don’t know why, if anything I should have posted sooner as I’ve been having some cravings lately. It’s just been fleeting thoughts of “wouldn’t a glass of wine be nice”. It’s really thrown me because I don’t want to have any wine. However, it still makes me question my sobriety and ‘forever’. I haven’t had thoughts like this for ages, so why now? and why so frequently?
I have been getting annoyed with social media lately. Everything seems to be alcohol related.
“Come join the PTA, we always have prosecco at our meetings”.
“Be kind to your Niece’s and Nephew’s, you’ll need them one day to smuggle wine into your nursing home.”
I cannot quite believe I have made it to 180 days. On Saturday I will have reached the 6 month marker. When I first began my journey, I couldn’t even think about the next hour, never mind 6 months. It just shows that taking it one day at a time really does work.
Back in January I made the decision to take a year off work. I am very fortunate that work agreed to keep my job open for me to return to in January 2017. (They know nothing of my problem with alcohol) I made this decision largely because I was so unhappy at work. Corporate Bull**** played a large part in my decision to take a break but also my inability to cope any longer. Remember, that I was still heavily drinking back then. I think my Career Break was me just running away from everything.