My Private Sobriety – Day 32

Yesterday I received a belated birthday present. A lovely bottle of Prosecco! I honestly didn’t know what to say. I graciously thanked them and put it out of sight. It’s made me realise that since beginning this journey of sobriety, concentrating and obsessing over not drinking, I’ve been doing it very privately.

Only a handful of people know I’m not drinking and they have only been told that I’m not drinking, for now. No real reason has been given, apart from, it doesn’t agree with me anymore and I’m sick of dealing with the hangovers. Only hubby knows the real reason. (My complete lack of control of alcohol and how hard it has been giving up.) Continue reading “My Private Sobriety – Day 32”

Mood Swings – Day 29

I am, and have been, in a bit of a funk these past 2 days. Which is a bit ironic after writing my super determined and optimistic last post. Work and family life have been quiet and that has given me the opportunity to read and blog more. This has definitely helped me, thank you my sober blogging friends :-).

I came across an article about PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) the other day and have been reading up on it.

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An Emerging Thought – Day 27

I think time is passing quicker now, compared to Day 1. I know it is still early days but right back at the beginning, the days definitely past slower. It felt like I’d been alcohol free for ages, then I’d realise, I was only on Day 5. I’d think – Surely, I’ve got my days wrong. I’ve been good for so long. How is it only Day 5?!

Now on Day 27, time has shifted a bit. It has sped up. I’m gaining some AF (Alcohol Free) momentum.

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Nightmares – Day 14

Last night I had a dream that I had been out with friends drinking red wine. At the end of the night, I suddenly realised that I shouldn’t be drinking because I’ve stopped drinking.

I was so disappointed with myself. Later, the dream changed and I was trying to find somewhere to smoke a cigarette! (I gave up 14 years ago). I was so pleased to wake up and realise it was all a dream, phew!

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Bloody Adverts – Day 12

Another day done. I have ignored my cravings quite well today. There have been several fantasies of wine drinking, which I have had to dismiss immediately. I definitely don’t trust myself yet to let my mind linger on them sort of thoughts for too long.

Who knew there was so much coverage of alcohol in our everyday lives, TV ads, TV programs. Ads on Facebook and other social media – It’s everywhere! Beautiful people, socialising and having a drink, looking very happy. I don’t know if that pisses me off or just makes me sad.

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Lost – Day 11

The holidays are over and its back to the usual routine. This has made my Day 11 rather difficult. While I have enjoyed being kept busy with work, I now find myself in a lull, somewhere between 4.30pm and the kids bed times. In this time, I do homework with the kids, cook their dinner and generally just be around for them.

The kids seem to demand just enough of my attention that I cannot really do anything without being interrupted but they don’t constantly need my attention, so I find myself aimlessly wandering around the house, doing dishes and checking the dinner.

Continue reading “Lost – Day 11”