My Kids Inspire Me – Day 1297

I often take strength from my children. What I mean is, they inspire me to do the hard things in life. (hard for me anyway)

I’m not a morning person. I have got used to getting up early when I need too. For example, for work, poorly kids, early flights etc but I don’t like it. When I’m tired and I don’t want to get up, I think of my two kids, who get up every morning to go to school. They have no choice. They get up and they go and I often think – if I expect it of my kids then I should do it too.

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Avoiding Overwhelm One Day at a Time – Day 1246

Good morning, I’m still anxious about going back to work on Monday but I am not letting my brain think past Monday. I’m keeping ‘in the moment’ as much as possible because that stops my brain future tripping and catastrophising. It reduces the anxiety and overwhelm I feel. Talking to Mr Mac has helped too.

Before my Day 1, I knew deep down that I should quit drinking alcohol. However, I found it very hard to start. As soon as I thought of quitting, my brain would jump to ‘forever.’ My brain would tell me that I won’t be able to do it, that I would fail. It argued that it would be too hard; that there are too many important things going on right now. The voice in my head would get louder and louder until I wouldn’t even try to quit.

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I Need to Talk More – Day 1236

After my post yesterday I went straight to bed and had a little cry. This morning wasn’t much better. My mood is still a mixture of overwhelm and anxiety without any real reason. Things I can usually cope with seem unbearable at times.

Your comments have helped, so thank you. I realise I need to give myself more time to get used to this new job (not something I wanted to hear but I realise it is true). I also need to learn how to talk to someone about how I’m feeling. I’m rubbish at talking about how I really feel, even with Mr Mac. The words “I’m fine” are out my mouth before I have a chance to articulate my real feelings.

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Free Time! – Day 863

OMG it’s been three months since I last wrote. I have wanted to write many times, but I never did. Even when I had a crappy day, I’ve just got through it, though I KNEW I would have felt better if I just blogged.

What’s that all about eh? This blog is mine, to vent, rant, whine or celebrate anything and everything I want. For some reason, even when I want to blog, I’m hesitant. Like I’m not worthy or something. I seriously need to not over think stuff and just do it.

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Two Years – Day 730

Back when I was 7 months sober, I met a woman who was nearing 2 year sober anniversary. I remember thinking “she’s a proper sober person”. Now here I am 2 years sober myself, I guess I’m a proper sober person now!

When I was drinking, I wasn’t living. My world became so small and lifeless. I am so proud to be sober, everything about my life is better now. My world is bigger, I do more and I’m learning more about myself. Everything is just more!

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I Am Whole Again – Day 669

Well, my son is back. My anxiety was up and down all week. Not helped by my daughter falling out with one of her school friends part way through the week. However, on Saturday we picked my son up from the airport and I feel whole again.

We have all learned something from this experience. My Son has gained more independence and a skiing badge! My Daughter has learned that she does miss her big brother after all. My husband and I have both learned that for all we missed our son terribly, we survived and we can rely on each other for moral support. I have learned that I can sit with uncomfortable feelings as long as I remember to use my sober tools.

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I Need Routine – Day 518

Wow, we are coming to the end of the kids 6 weeks holidays here. It has been great, lots of family time, walking, camping and picnic’s etc. However, as much as I’ve loved our time off, I have been feeling low recently. A feeling of, can’t be bothered. Lethargic, I guess. If I get out for a walk or into the fresh air with the kid’s I feel better. I couldn’t work out why I was feeling like this especially when I’m on holiday, but then it hit me a few days ago. I’m bored.

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