1st December 2019 and thus starts the Christmas countdown.
I’m happy and not worrying too much about the Christmas festivities. In all honesty, I haven’t got a lot planned so far. The youngest is excited to have her advent calendar up and I’ve allowed her to start decorating her bedroom with old tinsel and a small tree. Our main Christmas decorations will wait until next weekend, I think. I like to spread the jobs out and enjoy the run up to Christmas, not be overburdened.
I’m feeling happy this weekend because I’ve managed to do 2 things:
1. I had a good whinge to Mr Mac about not enjoying my work. I totally off loaded to him. This is something I struggle with because I can feel like a burden and a failure when I open up and tell people I’m not happy. I know other people don’t think this about me but it is how my brain works. I am slowly getting better at telling people how I feel and not just putting on a brave face.
2. I went on a walk with my family. It was a beautiful, dry, sunny, winters day yesterday. We wrapped up warm and walked around the lake. I really enjoyed our family time, walking, chatting and taking photos. It’s been a while since we’ve done this, so even the kids didn’t complain.
My brain tried to over analyse my conversation with Mr Mac, telling me, ‘other people would be happy with your job.’ and ‘Just get on with it, like everyone else does’. Despite all that negativity in my brain, I felt calmer. Talking to Mr Mac has helped. Plus, I was enjoying my family walk and getting some fresh air. I felt happy.
Still learning that talking helps, on Day 1339 x