I think time is passing quicker now, compared to Day 1. I know it is still early days but right back at the beginning, the days definitely past slower. It felt like I’d been alcohol free for ages, then I’d realise, I was only on Day 5. I’d think – Surely, I’ve got my days wrong. I’ve been good for so long. How is it only Day 5?!
Now on Day 27, time has shifted a bit. It has sped up. I’m gaining some AF (Alcohol Free) momentum.
It’s been 3 days since my last blog post but it feels like I only wrote it yesterday. I think this is because I’m getting used to my new routine. I’m not obsessing over wine o’clock, drafting or posting blogs, just to take my mind of the pull of wine so much.
Don’t get me wrong, I still think of drinking daily but not like a gut wrenching craving. More in an analysing way. Why do I want a drink? How would that make it better? Why does everything have to revolve around bloody alcohol? It’s like I’ve just woke up to realise the worlds gone mad over alcohol.
I’m definitely of the view point that I can never drink again. I might want a drink sometimes, like on a Sunny day, a Party or with friends (to name a few occasions) and its okay for that thought to pop into my head. It will take a lot longer than 27 days to re programme my brain after 20+ years of drinking, but I’m not going to drink.
There is a thought lurking at the back of my mind, which is slowly formulating and coming to the surface. I’m trying to capture this thought. I want to hold on to it and nurture it. This thought is that drinking is just not an option. It’s not a scary thought but an empowering thought. If I truly accept that drinking is just not an option for me then it frees me from all the cravings and any doubts, I may have about giving up.
You see, I accept I’m going to have cravings, I may doubt my decision to give up alcohol from time to time. I will have good days and bad days. However, I also accept that drinking is not an option for me, therefore it’s all a bit of a moot point really. The booze bitch inside me can shout as much as she wants. I’m not going to discuss this with her. Drinking is not an option. End of. x