Half Truths – Day 10

Well I did it. I successfully survived a night at my parents’ house sober. As I predicted within ten minutes of arriving, they offered me a drink. In the past I would have been so grateful and chuffed I was going to be drinking from 6pm, what a treat (not).

Yesterday, I simply said I had the kettle on and was fine. As predicted, they told me to get a ‘proper’ drink, to which I said I wasn’t drinking. They both laughed and said my sister would kill me. I said “she could blow it out her arse.” Now, I don’t normally say stuff like that but I got rather protective about my sobriety and well, it just came out. Luckily, my parents laughed and my sister hadn’t arrived yet, so all was okay.

I explained to my parents that alcohol just hasn’t been agreeing with me lately and I actually feel better when I’m not drinking. It’s not exactly the whole truth but it’s not a lie either. Alcohol doesn’t agree with me, I cannot stop drinking it once I’ve started and I do feel better when I don’t drink. This half-truth seemed to satisfy their curiosity and it didn’t invite a huge conversation about it either. As for my sister, she didn’t say a word!

Sometimes, I think the whole not drinking thing is more my issue than anyone else’s. I think I’m just super sensitive and really aware that I’m not drinking and I’m expecting other people to be just as aware of my non drinking as me. I’m starting to think that maybe most people don’t give a toss. Either that or perhaps my parents warned my sister about my previous feisty-ness lol. Either way, I had a fab night catching up with my family, I wasn’t the first to go to bed and I felt fabulous waking up this morning hangover free.

I must curb the amount of soft drinks I have though. In these social situations I still constantly need to have a drink in my hand, it’s like a crutch. Even at my parents’ house. I must have drunk 6 – 7 lime and soda’s in 4 hours last night. How I didn’t go POP! But hey, it wasn’t wine and that’s the whole point of this.
Well back to work and school for everyone tomorrow. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I started my Day One while on the Easter break and I’m hoping going back to work isn’t going to break my fragile sobriety. I am trying to stay positive but I am also frighteningly aware of how quickly that can all change.

Let’s see what tomorrow brings. I did not drink today; I will not drink tomorrow.  x

Mrs Mac