The weekend is just about here. I have organised going out for tea tonight with friends. I have protected myself though and already told them that I am taking the car and not drinking. These two friends are really good at getting the no drinking thing. They both drink (a lot sometimes) but they also understand the benefits of not drinking.
In the past when I’ve told them that I’m not drinking I got load of support and praise. They said how good I was and how they’d struggle to give up completely. They never really asked why, they just accepted it, like they understood the power of alcohol and were just in awe that I was giving up. I’m really looking forward to tonight.
In contrast, I’m NOT looking forward to Saturday night. I am heading over to my parents’ house for a sleepover and catch up. My sister will be there too. We organised it weeks ago so we can catch up without all the kids, have some adult time. I usually really look forward to these rare nights together. However, historically they are normally a very boozy affair, staying up late, putting the world to rights over several bottles of wine.
I haven’t told them I’m not drinking. Last time I gave up alcohol I got a load of questions why? and some suspicious looks. I just don’t feel like they ‘get it’. I also feel bad, guilty even, for not drinking because I feel like I’m letting my sister down. We have always been drinking buddies on night’s out, family parties, or just catching up over a bottle or two in the holidays. I feel like we may lose some of our closeness because I’m not drinking anymore….
Anyway, my real point to this post is, what do I tell them on Saturday night? I don’t think I’m ready to say I’m not drinking ever again. Mainly because last time I said that, I did start drinking again. (I don’t think they really thought it would last anyway). I’m definitely not ready to tell them I have a problem with alcohol, I’m just getting my head round that myself. Only hubby knows that I have a real problem with alcohol and I’ve sheltered him from the worst parts.
Do I lie and say I feel unwell? Do I say I’m doing the 100-day challenge? Arrrggghhhh!! I just don’t know how to approach it without looking like a freak! I feel like I need a short-term excuse that won’t attract too much attention right now but which will also fit into my long-term plan. This definitely needs some thought… ideas on a post card please… x
Mrs Mac