I cannot quite believe I have made it to 180 days. On Saturday I will have reached the 6 month marker. When I first began my journey, I couldn’t even think about the next hour, never mind 6 months. It just shows that taking it one day at a time really does work.
I am well past the intense cravings stage and I have more or less made peace with the fact I cannot/will not drink alcohol again. Forever, doesn’t seem such a scary prospect as it once did. I have caught myself staring at people drinking in restaurants or on TV and I have had the odd fleeting thought of drinking. But that’s all it is, a thought, a fantasy. I laugh at myself when it happens as I don’t want to drink. I think it is just my brain having trouble forgetting old behaviours.
Lately, I have felt like I am present and living my life. Not just being sober. (if that makes sense) I have started taking an exercise class twice a week. One class I do with the kids after school. The other I do when they are at school to have some ‘me’ time. I have invited the kids school friends round for dinner, which the kids love and I have made more of an effort lately to meet up with my friends. More date nights with Hubby is on the ‘to do’ list as well.
You may not think this is much but it is just some of the things I never did while I was drinking. It would have been too much effort or interfered with my nightly drinking. A lot of people, when they first give up the booze, fill their time with exercise and activities but I found it easier to keep life as simple as I could (and I still do). I didn’t want to rush into anything or jeopardise my sobriety by stressing myself out.
I always hoped that as I grew in my sobriety and gained strength, all these things would come naturally. And do you know what? They are. I’ve hardly got the busiest of schedules but I am happy and stress free. My hope is that I will continue to add things gradually to fill that hole alcohol left behind. This journey just takes time. x