5 Years Sober Today – Day 1826

There is not much to say really. On 1st April 2016 I had my last Day 1. I did not know it then but I was making the best decision of my life.

Getting sober is not always easy but I can tell you it’s easier than a life dependant on alcohol.

I was never a heavy drinker, there were no DUI’s or lost jobs. I just consistently drank more than I wanted and broke every promise I made to cut down or moderate my intake.

From the outside, I was holding it all together, but inside it was a different story. Anxiety, self loathing and shame were slowly eating away at my self-esteem and mental health.

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Avoiding Overwhelm One Day at a Time – Day 1246

Good morning, I’m still anxious about going back to work on Monday but I am not letting my brain think past Monday. I’m keeping ‘in the moment’ as much as possible because that stops my brain future tripping and catastrophising. It reduces the anxiety and overwhelm I feel. Talking to Mr Mac has helped too.

Before my Day 1, I knew deep down that I should quit drinking alcohol. However, I found it very hard to start. As soon as I thought of quitting, my brain would jump to ‘forever.’ My brain would tell me that I won’t be able to do it, that I would fail. It argued that it would be too hard; that there are too many important things going on right now. The voice in my head would get louder and louder until I wouldn’t even try to quit.

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40th Birthday Celebrations – Day 737

I’m just back from a trip to the Lake District here in the UK. It was my 40th Birthday last week and I have been planning a short trip away to celebrate the significant day.

2 years ago when I quit drinking I couldn’t think about my 40th birthday without wanting to celebrate it with an insane amount of alcohol. I always thought I’d have either cracked the whole being sober thing or I’d be back drinking again by now.

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Two Years – Day 730

Back when I was 7 months sober, I met a woman who was nearing 2 year sober anniversary. I remember thinking “she’s a proper sober person”. Now here I am 2 years sober myself, I guess I’m a proper sober person now!

When I was drinking, I wasn’t living. My world became so small and lifeless. I am so proud to be sober, everything about my life is better now. My world is bigger, I do more and I’m learning more about myself. Everything is just more!

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Amazing Hubby – Day 367

I never got a chance to mention this on my Sober Anniversary but Mr Mac surprised me with a lovely card and bar of chocolate. Just to say how proud of me his is. I could have cried (I just about did).

I have mentioned to Mr Mac previously that I would be a year sober on 1st April but I never made a big deal of it. I’m not entirely sure he truly understands how bad my drinking got. There are parts of it I have never fully admitted too, like the hiding of vodka bottles. Though I’m sure he has his suspicions.

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11 Months today!

Just checking in really. Still sober and cannot believe it is 11 months today. My year is so close. Like a lot of you, I feel like I want to do something or treat me self to something for my first sober anniversary. I think I need to give this some serious thought over the next 4 weeks. I have had a few moments of “is this forever?”. But I believe this is because my year is so close, not because I actually want a drink. I think it is the Wine Witch giving it one last push to trick me into having a drink.

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