Two Years – Day 730

Back when I was 7 months sober, I met a woman who was nearing 2 year sober anniversary. I remember thinking “she’s a proper sober person”. Now here I am 2 years sober myself, I guess I’m a proper sober person now!

When I was drinking, I wasn’t living. My world became so small and lifeless. I am so proud to be sober, everything about my life is better now. My world is bigger, I do more and I’m learning more about myself. Everything is just more!

Back at Day 1, Week 1, Month 1, I never thought it would be this good. In all honesty I couldn’t think this far into the future. I wish there was a way to give newly sober people and those wishing to stop drinking a glimpse into their sober future. So they could see how good their lives could be. It would make the difficult early months so much easier!

This past year I’ve not been thinking about drinking. I honestly never think about it. I don’t get cravings. If an odd thought of drinking passes through my head, I laugh at myself and let it go. This year I have been focusing more on me and how I deal with, well, me.

I am learning

  • That having uncomfortable feelings like, anxiety, fear, anger etc.. Does not make me a freak or different or weird. They are NORMAL feelings and I am NORMAL for having them.
  • Uncomfortable feelings do pass (eventually).
  • If I find the courage to do something I find hard. Like having a difficult conversation or taking on a difficult task. I actually feel good about myself afterwards and it’s easier the next time I have to do it.
  • If I’m bored, I don’t have to wait on others to invite me out, I can organise something myself!
  • If I need some me time, I can sneak off to bed early or skip cooking for the night. I am not being selfish, everyone around me benefits from a happier, more considerate and more patient version of me in the long run.
  • To pick my battles and not to sweat the small stuff. I guess this one is learning what I give a fook about. Sometimes, I need to just take a deep breath and assess whether ‘it’ (whatever ‘it’ is) is worth it. For example. Child coming home covered in mud just after washing floors. Work colleague, ranting on about how unfair their life is. School mum’s bragging about how perfect their child genius is or arguing with husband about leaving dishes on the bench when the dishwasher is empty. You get the picture!
  • My sober supports and treats can be used anytime I’m feeling depressed, anxious or pissed off. My sober toolbox is not exclusive to drink cravings anymore.

I think it is important to learn and grow as a person. Putting my quick list together feels good. All the years I was drinking I was in limbo, never learning or evolving. Just work, drink, sleep, repeat. God I must have been so boring.

Two years ago, I stopped drinking and it was the best decision I have ever made. x

Mrs Mac