Sun, Sea and No Sangria – Day 54

Two more days until we go on our family holiday. Our own villa and pool for one whole week in the sun. I cannot wait. However, I’ll be honest, I’m feeling nervous. I keep telling myself that this time away will be great without alcohol! But I’ve never had a holiday in the sun without booze before. I don’t want to drink but I am worried this will be my biggest trigger yet.

Hubby knows I’m not drinking anymore and he even asked if it would bother me if he drank on holiday. He even suggested not drinking himself but I cannot ask him to do that for me. I feel like I need to do this for me and prove to myself that I can do it. Hubby not drinking during the holiday will make it kind of a false experience – does that make sense? Plus, I’d worry he wasn’t having a good time. (Daft I know) I’ve told hubby to drink on holiday – you have to bear in mind I’m used to him drinking occasionally in the house and that he would only drink 1 or 2 beers, maybe 4 out of the 7 days we are away. He’s a Normie, who to be honest is drinking even less now that I don’t drink.

I don’t want to drink on holiday and I don’t believe I will. To be honest, I’m too scared to start from Day One again. However, every now and then I’m catching myself fantasising about a cold beer in the sun. I quickly dismiss this idea, but it still worries me that my thoughts keep drifting in that direction, even when it is something I really don’t want.

I thought I’d put my fears into writing. To get it off my chest so to speak, to see if it helps. To be honest, reading it back now, it just sounds so lame. I’m going on holiday for fooks sakes. Sun, sea, sand and no work. Just my wonderful husband and kids chillaxing for a whole week. Why should alcohol even get a look in. x

Mrs Mac