A New Beginning – Day 1 – 4

Well, I’m a newbie to this blogging world but after weeks of reading other people’s blogs and their journeys getting sober and more importantly staying sober, I think this could be what I need to do.

5 months ago, I gave up alcohol. Unfortunately, it only lasted 7 weeks. I stupidly thought I was cured; I’ll just be a social drinker now. How wrong I was… you see, when I drink, I cannot stop.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wake up needing a drink in the morning, quite the opposite, I wake up every morning thinking “no, that’s it, I’m definitely not drinking tonight… get a grip” then flash forward to between 3pm and 6pm that same day (depending on the hangover) and I start to convince myself it’s fine. “everyone enjoys a drink” I say. “gosh it was only a bottle of wine…. and maybe a beer or 2 – that’s okay, right?” But it’s just a Wednesday and no special occasion and oh, I’m by myself in the house.

I was wrong to think I could be a social drinker. I thought after a period of abstaining it would be like a reset button. But no, the more I introduced alcohol back into my life the more I wanted it. (haha that’s why they call it addictive).

Over several weeks, 5 dry days a week, turned into 3 dry days a week, which turned into 1 dry day a week, then back to drinking every day. Oh, and back was the misery and guilt. Hiding the wine bottles and sneaking drinks so people didn’t know how much I had had. Definitely not cured ha!

Well, after reading several books. Allen Carrs – ‘The easy way to control alcohol’ and Lotta Dann’s ‘Mrs D goes without’. Plus, finding the sobriety world on-line, I’m feeling ready to give it up for good!

This time I will have my blog to serve as a reminder for when I will ultimately crave alcohol and convince myself it’s okay to drink again.

I’m at the end of day 4 and while it hasn’t been too difficult so far (no major cravings, just feeling a bit down) I know all too well what’s just around the corner. Wish me luck x

Mrs Mac