Ranty Rant Rant Rant – Day 43

As we enter into the weekend, I want to get a few things off my chest. Nothing major, quite the opposite.

Do I drink AF beer? It is alcohol free (AF) but for some reason, this time round, I have avoided buying/drinking AF beer. I prefer just to have a juice or my favourite, cranberry, lime and soda. So why am I thinking about it? I don’t know. I’ve never been a beer drinker; I am definitely a wine lover. The AF wine does nothing for me. Mainly because it is too sweet and not like a dry chardonnay at all. However, I do think the AF beer (like Becks Blue) does taste like beer.

Now, I know I could have an AF beer as it doesn’t have any alcohol in it but, I’m a little worried that I’d be reminding my body/mind (The Drink Demon) what it is like to have alcohol – just without the buzz. Could it be a trigger? Am I over thinking it?

Last weekend, we had a family BBQ and I really fancied an AF beer in the garden. I worried that I was trying to find something like beer because I actually wanted a real beer. Does that make sense? I worried that having an AF beer would actually make my cravings worse, so I didn’t buy any. But what if it is the best thing to squash my cravings with? Arrghhh I don’t know……

I’m also pissed off that after 43 Day’s I’m a spotty mess. Why in my late 30’s am I getting spots for goodness sake? Oh and a spotty nose at that! I was fine in the beginning telling myself that it was because my body was run down and I was eating LOADS of chocolate but not now. When am I going to have that fresh healthy glow people talk about?

ALSO – when will I lose weight? I’ve stayed exactly the same weight but I am no longer drinking 1000 calories in booze per day any more. Okay, so I did eat my way through the first few weeks of sobriety but I was hoping for at least 1lb to have come off.

I know this is all very superficial stuff and I know a lot of you are going through a really hard time at the moment but it’s just pissing me off a bit. I’m so pleased I’m not drinking and I know a few spots and a ‘muffin top’ isn’t going to make me drink but I guess it’s just getting me down a bit.

On a more positive note, Hubby went out last night to meet an old friend. He had lots of beers and headed home with a kebab takeaway around midnight. Well, if there was ever an inkling of jealousy on my part that disappeared in a flash when I saw him this morning hungover, stinking of garlic and stale beer. The poor thing had to be up and at ’em to take our eldest to school first thing. I did have a giggle at the plight of him and was VERY grateful that I don’t ever have to feel like that again. x

Mrs Mac