Reflection – Day 70

The days are passing very quickly now. It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was painstakingly counting my early days of sobriety, wishing them to go faster, so I could get more alcohol-free days under my belt. I also used to clock watch continuously, especially during ‘Wine O’ Clock’. In the first month of sobriety I must have been obsessed with time.

I have now entered into my 3rd month (2 months and 10 days) of sobriety and I can see that I don’t obsess over time as much or continuously keep track of what Day I am on (though I do still like to check).

In the early days (I do realise I am still very much in the early days myself but in this post I mean the very very early days, 1 to 15) when people used to blog saying that it will get better/easier, I sure hoped so but I still didn’t quite believe them.

Well, I believe you all now. It sneaks up on you. You don’t suddenly wake up one day and say “wow, this is easier!” It happens gradually. On reflection, I realise I don’t have cravings everyday anymore. I don’t clock watch between 5pm and 8pm. I’m not sure when I stopped my obsession with time, I guess I just don’t think about it so much anymore.

I still get cravings and bad days, but not so often. I usually get them when I’m in new situations (like my first holiday) but I can see them for what they are and work through them, so next time it will be easier.

So, for anyone who is in their very early days or only just thinking about giving up, have hope that it does get easier. For everyone else – don’t forget how hard you fought in your early days and how much you have achieved. Our journeys are just that ‘journeys’. They are not instant but gradual. Don’t forget to take stock and reflect on how far you have come, whether it be 30 days or 3000 days, you might just surprise yourself. I sure have x

Mrs Mac