Free Time! – Day 863

OMG it’s been three months since I last wrote. I have wanted to write many times, but I never did. Even when I had a crappy day, I’ve just got through it, though I KNEW I would have felt better if I just blogged.

What’s that all about eh? This blog is mine, to vent, rant, whine or celebrate anything and everything I want. For some reason, even when I want to blog, I’m hesitant. Like I’m not worthy or something. I seriously need to not over think stuff and just do it.

Anyhoo, I am still sober and happy! 2 years and 4 months down the line, I find, I don’t regret my decision to quit drinking. I am proud to be sober and put it down as one of my best achievements.

Strangely, I do miss early sobriety sometimes. Not the hard, “shit I need a drink” part. But the immersing yourself into something new, finding like-minded people, learning new things and all the self-care part.

I think I have drifted away from that a bit. I’ve become complacent and let the self-care part slide. Lately, I’ve found myself just ‘hanging about the house’ not quite sure what to do some days. While the family happily gets on with their own thing, I’m just waiting for something to happen or someone to need me. I should be doing something I want to do.

The kids are getting older and they need me less. I’m used to them taking up 110% of my time. Now however, I have pockets of time for myself and I need to learn how to do stuff for me! When the kids were really little, I dreamt of having some ‘me’ time. Now I actually have some ‘me’ time, I don’t know what to do. I just mill around the house waiting to be needed. Then later, I regret not doing something more constructive with my time.

In short. I’m sober, happy and with extra time on my hands. What’s not to love! I may need to write a list of things to do while I get used to this new chapter of my life!

Side note. Thank god I’m not drinking ‘cos we all know what I would have been doing with this extra time and that would not have been pretty. x

Mrs Mac