My First Meeting – Day 253

Oh my God, I did it. I actually went to my first AA meeting yesterday. It was the same one I tried to go to last Friday but bailed. I was really nervous, but got there early and popped my head in and said “is there a meeting here at 12.30?”.

It turns out it used to be a woman’s only meeting but their numbers were low so they opened it up to everyone. Explains why 2 men were there. There were only 7 of us in total which I personally thought was good. They asked if it was my first meeting there and I explained it was my first meeting ever. They were lovely. Everyone had something different to say but there was always something I could identify with.

A few people cried in the meeting; I couldn’t speak as I barely felt like I was keeping it together. Every time someone asked my name, I could feel myself welling up. They asked at the end how I felt and I just couldn’t stop crying. They had lots of advice about different meetings and that it was okay to just come and listen. All their kindness and understanding made me cry more. Even though, I didn’t speak and I cried ALOT, it felt good going. They were just normal people, the same as me, who happened to have the same problem as me, ALCOHOL.

I have another meeting lined up on Monday. It’s a woman’s only meeting and apparently, it’s quite big. I’m meeting a lady there 15mins before to grab a cuppa before it starts. I’m looking forward to it, a little nervous still but definitely feel more confident. It will be interesting to compare the two meetings.

I told Mr Mac last night that I went to the meeting. He was really supportive. I thought he would think it was over the top, or just a fad. Something that other people needed, but not me. He said he was very proud of me. He told me that I shouldn’t be embarrassed and that he thinks it is awesome that I went and that it must have took guts to go. Several times throughout the evening he told me how proud he was. I was genuinely amazed. I knew he would be kind but I wasn’t expecting such praise and support. I’m always so grateful of Mr Macs support and I worry that it is hard for him sometimes. He’s lost his drinking buddy. He never signed up for having a wife with a drink problem. However, I was thrilled with his reaction to AA. Amazing x

Mrs Mac